The zombie-fication

When your husband and your cousin play Left 4 Dead blasting, screaming, and running their way to safety, you can't help but laugh.

I think it's safe to laugh at such games because zombies are not real. Even if they were, I don't think the humans infected would actually be considered human anymore (that is probably a debate best saved for another time). Shooting zombies in a game, therefore, is quite entertaining if the people playing the game aren't taking things seriously and also laugh at the ridiculousness of their situation.

However, I had to pause when I realized that sometimes people are called zombies, usually when their brain is fried and they can't respond in a manner that shows brain processes are still even remotely working. Not surprisingly, I had started feeling like this before our vacation to Colorado. Work was uninspiring, life was mundane, and there was not much motivation left in my body or soul. This unfortunately led to me becoming very negative about a lot of areas of my life, a fact that I was not aware of until my husband and I were lying in bed, sharing what we wanted to improve about ourselves for each other. Nick said he wished I wasn't so negative. That was definitely a painful eye-opener. That was also a very good indication that I definitely needed this vacation.

So if I had become a brain-dead zombie, doesn't that mean I should actually laugh at myself like I laughed at the game zombies?

And there it is. If I can laugh at zombies in games, and if I can make sure to laugh at myself and my own mistakes before improving, then I still find little pleasures in life. Then I can be positive.

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The one where I'm back...

So I'm back. For how long, that's yet to be determined (as usual, right?).

There's a lot of new events going on in my life. Nick and I got a loan for the repairs for our basement, which has yet to be fixed. We are debating adopting our friend's cat when he leaves. I have been unofficially diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). My dear friend Abby Hayes and I are going to start a natural/healthy beauty and makeup website. This past weekend was the 5th annual Prairie Grass 48-Hour Film Challenge, in which I participated for a fourth year. I'm trying to write more. Nick and I are looking into moving to Colorado in two years. The job is not what I want to do but it pays well and is treating me much better than last year, so I actually don't dread going to work anymore.

And this is where God is teaching me patience. I really don't like Iowa; in fact, the honest way I'd describe living here is that I despise it overall. Besides my friends and the prices, this state holds nothing for my future (no, not everyone wants to raise their kids here). However, I have been so discontent and antsy the last year and a half that I finally realized that God is probably trying to tell me something. I've only been really paying attention for the last two months or so, but I am getting an inkling that God wants me to be patient. He basically said, "Who needs kids? There's Iowa for Miss Bree."

And that's where I'm at. If I happen to be interpreting things incorrectly, at least I'm still looking for patience and contentment.

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The one with Planet Earth.

We've been watching the BBC series Planet Earth. HIGHLY recommended. I've always adored animals and been incredibly interested in plants, oceans, rivers, caves, deserts, whatever else you can think of. This series has more than satiated my desire to catch up on my old knowledge of nature and wildlife and even add many new tidbits I've never heard before, but now my old knowledge is screaming to be expanded upon.

Maybe I'll have to add animal studies to my list of other interests. :)

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The one where I promised...

I did promise to write at least two more blogs this month. I am running very short on time to do so. This is, therefore, my first of the last two blogs. I am not sure if this blog will have a real purpose. I am merely just trying to get myself back into the habit of writing more. Otherwise, I am most likely screwing myself over and will lose touch with the hobby/skill/love of writing that I used to be so passionate about.

There was a dream I had a while back that I just can't get out of my head, and I really think that means I need to write it down. As always, dreams are a little weird (at least mine are) and this one was no exception. I was viewing the dream from a first-person point of view, but I was not myself; I was some character, a female soldier of some sort who was running around a very rubble-filled street with a bunch of similar soldiers following her. She/I got to the end of the street, loaded a sniper, snaked around the edge of the building, aimed, and fired.

Lots of other things happened in this dream, too, even though my dreams are always choppy, like only the absolutely most important scenes in a film being picked out and shown to you in separate chunks. My character went into a building where refugees were living; they bowed to her as well as the rest of her teammates. My character was talking with one of her teammates, also someone of romantic interest; they were discussing how they were sick of being seen as "Truth" and "Justice" (this idea of assigning an intangible concept to a physical person appeared frequently within the dream, even if it was just a feeling I got from some scenes... this is confusing to me and I'm not sure how I'd write it if and when I do).

Yes, this would definitely be a sci-fi or apocalyptic setting. I can't deny it: I love science fiction, fantasy, and almost anything else that is remotely related to those genres. Does that make me a geek or a nerd? Supposedly there is a difference (http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-Nerds-and-Geeks).

If anyone would like to comment on this blog about my dream/story idea, please do so. I would welcome any feedback; it may help me to develop further ideas for it. I'm sure I'll be writing about this dream as it develops into a story in the future.

Also, more topics I've been wanting to write about here:
- natural beauty techniques/remedies and healthier makeup
- Lady Gaga
- shopping deals/recommendations
- becoming an adult and finding out who I am
- travel
- Renaissance Festival

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The time when I actually wrote again.

It's been quite a while, and for that, everyone can blame me.

There's been a lot going on at home here, which isn't a complete excuse but it is definitely some. When you have to vacuum up around 40 gallons of water from your flooded basement, you know there's a lot going on.

The main thing that's been going on is that I've just been flat-out unmotivated to do much. This includes writing, which I'm very surprised I'm even doing right now. However, I take this current activity to be a good sign that things may be improving in my psyche, or at least there's some small part of my brain that is still telling me I don't really want to suck.

I doubt I'll write much more tonight. I just wanted to get something out on "paper" to clear my thoughts. I hope at some point, I can start writing blogs again regularly. I am also debating about starting another blog, one that's a bit more upbeat and interesting than this one. But we'll see. My first goal really should just be to write more.

If anyone is still reading this, keep track of me this next month. If, by August 31, I have not posted at least two more times, you can all contact me however you so desire (a comment on an old blog, a message on Facebook, a personal e-mail, etc.), and rip me a new one.

Yes, you will all be my accountability readers.

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