Saturday, June 20, 2009

The moments where I feel faint.

Today started out on a terrible note. I could not get to sleep from 1:30 a.m. to 3 a.m., and so all I did to whittle away at my awaken stupor was sit on Facebook and chat with Alvin for an hour and a half and skim through people's photos of the European concert tour. Fortunately, I fell asleep after these endeavours.

I woke up to my alarm at 8 a.m. For those of you with poor math skills, this equaled 5 hours of sleep. I don't do 5 hours of sleep. But I had planned on going to Omaha with friends for a graduation party; so I started crying because I felt guilty about not wanting to go anymore, and about being tired, and about generally feeling worthless. Nick tried to comfort me, and then I started talking and we started discussing, and things just blew up. One of those marital spats, I guess you could call it. We ended up working things out and falling asleep on the couch together until he had to get up an hour later to get to work on time.

Then I woke up at 3 p.m. I think that added another 5 hours to my sleep schedule, so fortunately I got 10 hours of sleep. I talked to my sisters for about an hour, and then showered, and then worked on my hair, which was another source of woe. I am not used to my hair being longer (though some of you would argue it's not long, and it really isn't, except when I'm previously used to it only being about 2 inches long and now it's 4 or 5, I find it frustrating and hard to deal with). It took me a good hour and a half to fiddle around with my hair, trying new styles and figuring out what would work and what wouldn't. I want something quick and easy; that did not happen today.

The day got better after this. Nick came home for lunch and was very cheerful that his longer shift was over and had only a short shift to go. After he'd left, I cleaned up my desk, dusted the apartment, washed the dishes, and started to clean up a few other things like our filing cabinet as I watched Rat Race. I touched the computer only once these past few hours, excepting now, and I'm proud of myself for that, at least.

I'm sort of back in a lull at this point, however. I was hoping to see friends and hang out with Alicia again because she's back in town for Katie's wedding, but she's with her boyfriend (I don't blame her for this at all considering Jon was in Japan). And no one else seems to be back from Omaha yet; if they are, they haven't let me know. I want to get some more organizing done but I feel very unmotivated to do so. I feel like I don't want to do anything, which I don't think Nick wants to hear, either. What I should really do is just go to bed soon, and make sure I get enough sleep for church tomorrow, so we don't miss it again.

Maybe tomorrow I'll feel more lively.


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