The vacation blues.

Now that Katie and Jesse are married and relaxing on their honeymoon (soon to be in Italy), I happen to want the same thing all over again.

Since I can't have the same thing all over again, I am now wishing for a second honeymoon. This normally doesn't happen until your 25th anniversary, or some anniversary around there.

Since it is only going to be my 1st anniversary and not my 25th, I have to hope for a vacation in the form of Ireland or the Dominican Republic within the next two years.

I probably should have put a disclaimer at the beginning of this post: I love traveling, and this is the main reason I want to go on vacation. The second reason is probably because I get tired of Iowa, and the third is probably because I feel that America's work ethic is too destructive for our own good and we should really spend a few less hours at work and more time for ourselves and our families.

The prospect of my new job is therefore only slightly depressing and daunting to me, and I am sadly only working part-time. Imagine what I would be like if I'd gotten the full-time position. I feel like I'm a better person and truly myself when I have a good, part-time job that leaves room for personal goals, hobbies, volunteer work, spiritual life, and trips. Trips equal vacation.

Therefore, I should be happy about my new position being only part-time, but I see it as only a small stepping stone into the real world of full-time misery. I assume if I had a full-time job that I at least liked or loved most of the time that I wouldn't consider it misery, but those jobs are few and far between. However, since I don't have a full-time position I am not going to worry about it at the moment, and make the most of my new job and the free time that it gives me.

With this free time, I am going to try to make some extra money by tutoring, and hopefully this extra income and the money I save from my part-time job will be put toward that Ireland or Dominican Republic vacation. That, I would say, is a worthy goal. A goal worthy of no complaint or discontent, because I know that (unlike many people) I have the ability and means to accomplish the goal, even if it's not in the near future. Therefore, I'm going to work at not complaining or being discontent as much as I normally do.

Fortunately, I'll have a small vacation this coming fourth of July weekend at my friends' lake house again.

I'm terribly spoiled.

Read More

The day before the wedding.

We just got back from the rehearsal dinner, and since everyone was doing so much running around today and so much planning and organizing and cooking and transporting... we all sort of went our separate ways.

Not that I should be sad: I see these people a lot, and I'm thankful for that.

It's just that when this many people are in one place together for a while, I feel like I want to hang out every night, because that's just usually what we do. And tonight we're not.

Several people are going to bed already to get up early and prepare for the wedding at the church. Other people are still up but watching a horror movie, which doesn't sound appealing to me (besides the being-with-people part). Still others are going on walks, or packing for their honeymoon, or playing XBox. But we are all separate, and for some reason that makes me sad.

I think I know, however, what is really gnawing at my heart is the fact that after this, yet another friend reunion is over, and Katie and Jesse will be gone for three weeks on their honeymoon. I understand the wedding will be over and people need to leave. I understand that the couple will be on a honeymoon because that's just what happens. But a large part of me does not want any of this to happen.

You could call that feeling selfish, but I'm starting to think it has a lot more to do with the human need for longing and attachment and companionship. I know I can "survive" three weeks without my very good friends Katie and Jesse, because it's not like I'll be completely without friends. I have Nick to be with, and my sister for about another week. I also have a new task to get used to: a job. However, there will be those nights during the next three weeks that I will severely miss hanging out with Katie and Jesse, and wishing they were here so Nick and I could socialize with them.

I used to think I was very independent, and that I didn't need anyone or friends as often as other people did. I used to follow these beliefs, and often stayed home nights instead of being with friends. This solely independent mentality has slowly dwindled over the past several years, as I realize now that I need not just a husband, but close friends to keep me happy, to keep me being who I am: a unique individual who is still independent in one sense, but one who embraces her independence in light of her surrounding family and friends.

I am a social being, and I need social contact. So how do I deal with the fact that my social contact is about to dwindle to a smaller size than I want it to be?

Read More

The time where I didn't write.

I made it two weeks. And then I forgot.

Tuesday, the day I should have posted to keep up my streak, contained so much that I forgot to blog. I went shopping with girl friends, went to Sioux Falls with my husband, picked up my sister from the airport, and watched Transformers at the midnight showing.

Wednesday, which at this point was yesterday, the business continued as I helped set up for Katie's bachelorette party, as well as the karaoke party. Those events occurred about six hours and 40 minutes ago. Which means that it is now 3:40 a.m. on Thursday, June 25.

I really should go to bed, but I happen to not be at my house, and I happen to want to stay up just a little bit longer yet as I am not the one getting married and the one without the job (just yet). However, that's incredibly selfish of me as Katie needs lots of help in the morning. I know that I have been railing on those who have not helped Katie enough for this wedding, so I shouldn't become a hypocrite at this point.

But at this point, maybe I should go home and sleep. I can barely think anymore. I can barely type correctly. And for an English major that means that I either need sleep or a serious slap on the head.

I vote for sleep.

Read More

The two-week mark.

It's been two weeks since I started blogging. This, my friends, is an accomplishment.

To this day, I still have not sent some English papers I wrote to the English department, and they requested them two months ago. I have not copied down recipes onto recipe cards, a little task I've been meaning to finish for the past several months. In addition, I also still have not written half of my wedding thank-you notes, and I got married a year ago.

Odd how most of those delayed to-do's have to do with writing.

I guess I shouldn't, as the old saying goes, "count my chickens before they hatch." I may not end up sticking to my plan, especially this week considering it is Katie's wedding week and things may get a little busy.

But I'm so determined to stick to this goal of mine, because I know it could improve my chances of becoming a successful writer, and I know for sure it will improve me as a writer. Maybe that's all I need to worry about right now. Just becoming a better writer.

Read More

The hecticness that comes with a wedding week.

I am currently at my dear friend Katie's house, helping sort out all her wedding paraphenelia so that she can finally start to get everything together for every event leading up to and including her wedding. It's really very packed and busy at Katie's place as there are currently seven of us here including Katie preparing, polishing, cleaning, organizing, sorting, planning, and more. So I am really only taking a break because I promised myself as a writer that I would blog every day.

So far I haven't broken that promise!

I got out of the car after arriving at Katie's house, and I thought back to the time that Katie's sister Trish got married. I remember how busy that week was, too, as we had to gather everything together and all hang out in Omaha for a week to help out and attend/be in the wedding. I then remembered my wedding week and how I was only happy because people started to show up, all my friends and family, and Nick, of course. My wedding week was stressful for me, and incredibly scary in a certain sense, but I was glad to have loved ones around me. At the moment, I keep having random memories float up from the bottom of my mind about my wedding as I help Katie sort candles and figure out decorations. Even though I'm not making the decisions and these are not my colors, I remember distinctly when I was organizing my candles and figuring out which color lights should go with which color ribbon.

Then I realized that people arrived today for the wedding, more friends and family for Katie's wedding, and I got giddy for her. I had my special day, and though there were things that I wish I could've changed and there are things I'll never forget, I'm always excited to see what other people are going through, what they choose, what they are doing, and how everyone tries to pitch in to help (well, the majority of people, anyway).

I'm getting very excited for Katie and Jesse. It doesn't seem like this is the wedding week yet. But it is.

Hang on for the ride.

Read More