Saturday, October 10, 2009

The desire to act.

Sometimes I wonder: could I have ever made it as an actress?

I would've needed to be more outgoing, that's for sure. I would've needed classes. I would've needed people to support me and encourage me to go that direction. However, I wouldn't have needed the looks.

So many people have told me how beautiful I am, how fashionable, how "classy" I am. Not that these are all necessarily characteristics of Hollywood stars (I have seen far too many un-classy stars for the world to physically sustain them all), but they definitely get you somewhere in that unfortunately too-shallow and self-absorbed world of film and television.

Yet that is partially why I think I could make it; I know my beliefs would be challenged frequently, but I honestly believe that if I could work on my undeveloped skills to get them to an acceptably "good" level of acting, and get into the Hollywood scene with my looks, fashion, business sense, and smarts, I'd be able to make a small difference in the media world by picking good scripts that I know were quality films with a good theme. I would want to act only in your "food for the thoughts" movies, ones worth every ounce of effort put into them, even if that effort is not blockbuster-selling.

Maybe I'd be able to show my love of story in interviews, and maybe I'd be able to show my appreciation for behind-the-scenes workers on special edition DVDs. Maybe I'd be aiming to show my faith in every aspect of my acting career.

Or maybe I'd just be hoping for a few good shots of me as I walked down the red carpet.

It's some of all of that, which I feel guilty admitting mostly due to my selfish side of wanting those few good shots.

I don't really have to worry about any of this right now, as there isn't a huge demand for Hollywood actors in Sioux Center, Iowa. But what if the opportunity comes up later? What do I do then?


  1. Just a comment on the shallow side of Hollywood that only takes attractive people.
    Um, it's true... even the ugly actors - Steve Buscemi is the best example - is ugly and unattractive in a manner that is pleasing and recognizable to watch on the screen. Which, I think, makes sense and I'm not mad about it.
    And also, it would make sense that you "conquer Hollywood" with your logical decisions and ethical attitude if Hollywood were logical and ethical. But it's not.

  2. You never know...Iowa does (or did) provide tons of tax credit for people who try to shoot movies here. That's gotta put us, what, at least 10 ft. closer to Hollywood :P


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